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observation de vous;

observation de moi
on isolé tiennent le premier rôle
vous ne savez pas qui vous êtes
j'ai vous ai toujours aimé
mais vous avez pris mon amour pour accordé
parole au revoir

the 4 hearts

an almost perfect lady.

August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
September 2008

why is it that when people you love hurt you either physically, mentally or emotionally, you cannot find the space inside you to hate them? why is it that when they do that repeatedly over and over again, you still stay by their side? why is it that people can't seem to find the energy to fight it off against those they love?

is that why abused husbands or wives still stay with their partners, willing to bear it all in silence?

what would i do if i were one of them?

love means going through thick and thin together. it means going through the ups and downs of life holding each others hands.

having been always hit by belts, hangers and even caned when i was a kid, i never believed in using violence. to me, in order for anyone to call themselves a successful parent, it was when they never had to resort to violence to make a child learn. spare the rod, spoil the child. that's bullshit. relying on this phrase to substantiate one's right to hit a child doesn't make the parent successful at all. i believe that being a successful parent is when one is able to use reason and love to make a child comply to the rights and wrongs, as well as understand the reasons for the rights and wrongs. without the use of any physical, emotional or mental violence. the use of those violence doesn't help in any way; instead it just makes the parenting job easier. just from my own perspective.

but when it comes to relationships in terms of romance, everything changes. no matter what or when or where or how, you got to be in control of yourself. once you lose the control, you lose yourself. you lose your reputation, your pride, your dignity, your respect. you lose everything. yea, i was a bruised kid, and no i did not get any lenient let offs thou i'm the eldest and thou i'm a girl. so i had in bad. and i'm not afraid, no where near afraid, of being hit. i've learnt how things can be once one loses control of oneself. doesn't have to be in the aspect of violence. but i've learnt. it has to be one of the scariest things that can happen to a person. i know i was never so frightened of myself before. i was thinking how could i have indulged so much emotions, negative emotions in myself and to the extent that i bring it over and cause harm to others, but mostly and mainly to myself?

that's when you learn from mistakes. in life there aren't many second chances, so when you're given it, you better treasure and cherish it your entire fucking pathetic life. because thats the way it is. it's not easy learning from mistakes, but if it's important, i know i'll put in my utmost effort to make things right. because by doing so, you're repenting. if not, well then, too bad. it's your own loss right, if you don't learn from mistakes. if you don't learn to control yourself. if you don't learn to love yourself more. it's a pretty darned selfish world we're living in, every man for himself. there's no space for too much generosity or goodwill.

if you really love someone, love will conquer all other emotions. love will conquer hate, anger, hurt, pain and everything else. yes, that is true. but that is only if you still love that someone even after that someone has made you hate, angry, hurt, pain and everything else. and that's when you realise, no one in the world's going to complete your world. your world is out there, cold, cruel, heartless. no one is going to offer empathy. so before anyone ever steps into a relationship? piece of advice, make sure your world's complete first before you step into one. this ensures that your life isn't over without the person. that person that is introduced into your life is someone you can live without, just that you will find that you want to live with.

ps. if love can't stop the anger, it isn't love at all.

pps. your heart went missing when she went away. and till today it never came back. go find her again. it's where your heart belongs.


my heart got broken today into a gazillion number of pieces. but life goes on. and so will i. like i said. its a cold cruel heartless world out there. and no one's going to offer any empathy.

- everything's just temporary;
11:43 PM